When Buses Attack
How to handle an encounter
If you encounter one of these in the wild, remain perfectly still. Do not make eye contact or step forward, or you might draw its attention. Instead, make it clear that you are aware of its presence, but feign disinterest. Look away. If you are standing close to its expected path, take a slight step back, continuing to avoid eye contact. Killer buses follow very rigid migration patterns, and have very little time to stop to feed. Breathe slowly. Killer buses can sense impatience or anxiety and will slow to investigate.
If you follow this advice, the bus should pass you without any harm. Remember, it's more afraid of you than you are of it.
Professional bus-hunters may carry attractants such as 'tokens' or 'passes'. Tourist stands may try to sell you such items as novelties. Do not be fooled. Field guides are available which show the common migration patterns of these beasts, but are well-known to be full of inaccuracies. Patterns of movement can change hourly. Be cautious. Maintain your distance even if you encounter a bus that seems to be injured or resting -- they are easily provoked.