I'm either 'on' or 'off'. When I'm on, I'm really on. And I can see the other ones who are 'on'. When I'm off, I can still feel but I don't process external facts and I don't send eye signals and I don't talk until I 'come back' or someone engages me. I'm 'off' when I'm thinking about something and using all of my attention on it. I'm trying to notice the difference and the transition and bring both 'on' and 'off' into some sort of spiritual awareness. Yet they are both spiritual. Maybe what I'm saying is I'd like to be able to share both. The 'off' is a little difficult to get someone to relate to. It does seem to come across in my writing. I can see why some writers have referred to writing as 'dirty'. You know, dirty like 'dirty-pictures' dirty.
In person, if I say something eloquent, the eloquence was constructed in that other ('off') place and then dipped into my language centers like making a caramel candy apple. The words stick to it and cool. Online journaling is like wax paper to put 'em on.
I don't want to blur the 'off' and 'on'. I just want more choices.