Triple Entendre (triple_entendre) wrote,
Triple Entendre

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Something to know

I struggle with the (adult version) of ADD (no H), or something similar. That's Attention Deficit Disorder (no Hyperactivity).

Of course, it's neither a deficit nor is it necessarily a disorder.

It means many of the things I'm good at are almost incomprehensible to others.

I have an erratic sense of time, and my memories are not accessible by time. I don't _feel_ time. I have a fear of making people wait for me that is almost as strong as my fear of having to wait. That's why I'm late. Just plan to meet me there, and don't let your experience depend on my arrival.

(I _do_ have a sense of timing, on a small scale. And some days I wake up knowing I have exactly 60 seconds before the alarm is going to go off.)

Sometimes my eyes glaze over and I float in a world of pure thought and feeling.

Sometimes I hyper-focus on one thing and try to know it in its entirety. For hours.

Sometimes it takes all the energy I have to hear what you just said.

Other times there's nothing in the world but you, and that can be too much of a good thing.

I read books two facing pages at a time, whole paragraphs at a time, but out of order, and I turn the page after my eyes have danced over enough of the sentences to know what those two pages contain. Sometimes I'll miss something and turn back a couple of pages, looking for a paragraph that relates to the one I just read. Thank God I'm just barely aware of this.

Sometimes, when you greet me, I don't get enough time to spin up the energy it takes to pull you in and make you feel welcome. But I really am glad to see you.

The Universe is made of Love.
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