Triple Entendre (triple_entendre) wrote,
Triple Entendre

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Ever wonder why you can't find the remote?

I heard a loud scraping noise on the floor behind me, and turned to
see a computer peripheral (corded touchpad mouse) being slowly pulled
into a hole in the floor by its cable. It was too small to fit through the
hole, so as I lean closer, there's a large ugly paw with long claws
REACHING UP OUT OF THE FLOOR and pulling at the thing!

Luckily, I'm too sleep deprived to feel fear, so I have this serene
moment of wondering am I really seeing this and WHAT THE HELL KIND OF
MONSTER LIVES UNDER MY FLOOR? Transfixed, I try to think -- what would
William Burroughs do? Dialogue! "Hey!" I said. "What the--," and I grabbed
the other end of the cable. About four feet of cable had been pulled
under the floor, and the monster wasn't letting go. Since I have opposable
thumbs of course I won the tug-of-war. Now I could see dimly into the hole,
something moving in there. It was looking at me.

It poked its snout as far out as it could, which wasn't very far, and sniffed
at the air. It had a nose like a dog's. "What the hell are you doing under
my floor?" I asked it. It snorted derisively and withdrew.

Ah. So THAT's why that hole was thoroughly taped over when I moved in. To keep
the monsters out.

Time to rearrange the furniture.
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