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What the hell ever.

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Jun. 24th, 2003 | 07:20 am
mood: angryangry

Well, she's gone. I can't seem to write much intelligible about it right now. But I have to go to work and crying through my meetings won't help, nor will screaming and breaking things. She scorns me every time she hears that I'm unhappy. I hear the weary superiority in her voice, as if she's disappointed in me but couldn't expect any 'better' from me.

Overall, I think she's fucked this one up. I understand why she needed to separate so she could prove to herself that she could survive on her own, but in order to throw off her dependence on me, she had to demonize and invalidate the rest. Suddenly she's making it sound as if our life together has been a lie she had to tell in order to feel like she'd be taken care of.

She called from the plane. It was hard to hear over the helpful flight attendant speaking over the intercom. Neither of us had anything to say beyond "I miss you", or at least, we should have left it at that.

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Comments {4}

the Edward

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from: thedward
date: Jun. 24th, 2003 07:35 am (UTC)


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It's my party and I'll cry if I want too.

from: troyworks
date: Jun. 24th, 2003 08:44 am (UTC)

well fuck! I can understand being selfish about wanting freedom and all, but for her to tell you how to feel about how you value her or should deal with the breakup seems plain silly.

If it's any condolence, I've had to got thorough many a day of meetings, internally on planet X after some interplanetary way, emotions everywhich way, and had to act like nothing had happened.

I can't imagine trying to say goodbye to someone on a phone in a public place. I understand these things have to be done, and communication is better than silence. But still...


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dr. pangloss

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from: denshi
date: Jun. 24th, 2003 10:38 am (UTC)

I'm sorry.

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from: fulguritus
date: Jun. 24th, 2003 09:51 pm (UTC)

we should talk soon.

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