The movie was okay, and it was nice to see A. and Emerald, but I felt like I was ditched immediately afterward. I usually like to hang out and talk about a movie I've just seen with friends. The movie is character-driven, and sort of makes you unwillingly identify with a main character who will never express what he wants. It's wearying. The movie also reminded me of a few very painful mistakes I'd made in several relationships before I was with A.
I like seeing A., I miss her terribly, but it pains me sometimes to recieve my ration of a sincere hug and kiss, and then the retreat to a safe distance. It's like there's a wall of glass between us that she can raise and lower at will. If I were to say this to her she would say, "now you know how I felt."