Triple Entendre (triple_entendre) wrote,
Triple Entendre

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Riding on the Hyperintermetropolitan

if we'd had any substantial city-to-city mass transit this wouldn't have been a problem. trains? rail? greyhound easily maxxed out its usefulness early on and they had to just tell people to quit calling because there were no seats left.
I'm not sure this is true, because there are only so many units of that mass transportation available: the empty trains and buses would have to return for additional trips, even if we assume an infinite supply of trains there's some hard limit on how many could efficiently use the infrastructure without getting in each others' way (a definition of 'traffic').

So substantial city-to-city mass transit might have shaved many hours off of that all-day traffic crawl, but there'd still have been enough traffic left over to snarl. at.

Hmm, that's got me thinking, though. The south-american (?) style of bus system, with its dedicated bus-lanes and elevated no-fare platforms, could work well not just for intracity travel, but also intercity travel AND inter-city evacuations. They'd behave like a true vascular system. Extra buses could quickly be brought to the affected city over regular roads and fed into the bus-channel. Even with as little as 12 hours' warning, city bus systems in other metropolitan areas within (12-x) hours could be diverted to an evacuation area*. Seems to me that a steady stream of buses in dedicated channels between cities would be an idea people-conveyor-belt. The existing city bus systems are already geared toward bringing people to the city's downtown area, so keep that running, and the intercity bus-channels would have their endpoints there. Someone smarter than me really ought to take this idea and work out the math.

(Of course, the automotive industry would be obliged to buy up and destroy any such system.)

Hmmm, I suppose the authorities could assemble the system I'm describing whenever needed, using ordinary traffic control methods.

If this idea tests out well, the only physical change it would require is a larger reserve of fuel at each city's main bus depot.

* If roads into an area are expected to be congested due to cross-traffic from other evacuating areas, give the buses sirens and emergency lights. You know, that part seems obvious, like buses stopping at railroad crossings. Why are there no bus-sized emergency vehicles?

If I were to build such a system, this would be its anthem:
Frankie Smith
Give me a HO if you've got your funky bus fare…HO

There's a double dutch bus comin' down the street
Movin pretty fast
So kinda shuffle your feet
Get on the bus and pay your fare
And tell the driver that you're
Goin' to a Double Dutch Affair
Fe Fi Fo Fum
Well I'll be darn here it comes
The Double Dutch Bus is on the street
You'd better get off the curb
Move your feet

Bus fare trans-pass
That's the way my money lasts
Ain't got no car to get around
When I go to work I've gotta go downtown
Now I've missed my train
That's a darn shame
When I'm running late no sleep's to blame
If you've gotta wife you know I'm right
Gotta special man well I can understand
Uptown, downtown everybody's getting down
Say uptown say downtown
Well I've missed my bus I know I'm late
I've gotta do something I know I hate
I'm gonna walk to work fifteen blocks
I already got a hole in my socks
Go ahead and laugh that's okay
Cause what I really wanna say
I got bad feet my corns hurt
To top it off I'm lost for work
Let me tell you what I say
When I'm dealing with the funky sidewalk
Let me show you how to walk
When I gotta do my funky walk
Let me tell you what I say
When I'm dealing with the funky sidewalk
I say sssssssss-sugar

(Rep with children)

Bip, bomp, bam alakazam
But only when you're grooving
With the Double Dutch Man
Put on your skates don't forget your rope
Cause I know I'm gonna see you
At my Double Dutch Show
Rebecca, Lolita, Veshawn and Dawn
Everytime you do the Double Dutch you really turn it on
Bilzarbra, Mitzery, Milzetty, Kilsan
Titzommy, Kitzerrance, Kilzommy that's my man
Come on get on my Double Dutch Bus
(The Double Dutch Bus)

Let me hear you say do that
(Do that)
Let me hear you say Do that again
(Do that again)
Let me hear you say do the do
Let me hear you say do the do the do
Do the do, do do do do do

cross-posted from another thread
Tags: driving, lyrics, mass transit, traffic, transportation
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