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Apr. 11th, 2005 | 05:28 am
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Ella Fitzgerald - Can't help lovin' dat man

Sooooo...

Divorced two years or so ago. Feeling a lot better, thanks. Made the irrational yet necessary choice not to know her anymore. No hard feelings, but it seems there's always going to be some pain there for me. In particular, she and her fiance are having a baby, and I feel the need to avoid seeing her pregnant.

She's getting married this weekend. It is oddly and selfishly reassuring to me that the lucky boy is someone whom I was fortunate enough to have formally "approved of" way back when. (Yes, "two years ago" is indeed starting to move into the "when I was little" frame of reference. Or as I was gently corrected this weekend, "when I was younger".) So anyway, no issues with the groom.

I wish them the best and I know they'll have a wonderful life. I'm invited to the wedding. They were even sweet enough to make sure it was okay with me that I was invited before inviting me. But I do feel that I don't belong there, even if I'm the only one that feels that's so.


Any reason I should go?

Speak now, or etc. etc.


P.S. - Oh yeah, and I guess all my friends are gonna be there. No, seriously. If I'm not going, I'd better make some other plans. I had originally planned to be away or busy, like, um, sorry, I'll be out of town, I had to wash my hair that month, or something.

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Comments {26}

hugs

from: witchety
date: Apr. 11th, 2005 09:00 pm (UTC)
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I echo Kim's sentiment - I hope you you indulge in pretty dresses (yours or others), and spoil yourself in small and large ways. I usually treat myself to yummy Indian food, get some chai tea, see a movie I know no one else will see with me. If all else fails, I take a yoga class, something sweaty and distracting. Sending a big hug to you. And let me take this opportunity to say that I have fond memories of you, and wish you sweaty sex, good food, and the love of good friends (which you seem to have already). xoxo, Ingrid

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