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Apr. 11th, 2005 | 05:28 am
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Ella Fitzgerald - Can't help lovin' dat man


Divorced two years or so ago. Feeling a lot better, thanks. Made the irrational yet necessary choice not to know her anymore. No hard feelings, but it seems there's always going to be some pain there for me. In particular, she and her fiance are having a baby, and I feel the need to avoid seeing her pregnant.

She's getting married this weekend. It is oddly and selfishly reassuring to me that the lucky boy is someone whom I was fortunate enough to have formally "approved of" way back when. (Yes, "two years ago" is indeed starting to move into the "when I was little" frame of reference. Or as I was gently corrected this weekend, "when I was younger".) So anyway, no issues with the groom.

I wish them the best and I know they'll have a wonderful life. I'm invited to the wedding. They were even sweet enough to make sure it was okay with me that I was invited before inviting me. But I do feel that I don't belong there, even if I'm the only one that feels that's so.

Any reason I should go?

Speak now, or etc. etc.

P.S. - Oh yeah, and I guess all my friends are gonna be there. No, seriously. If I'm not going, I'd better make some other plans. I had originally planned to be away or busy, like, um, sorry, I'll be out of town, I had to wash my hair that month, or something.

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Comments {26}


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from: incysor
date: Apr. 11th, 2005 04:23 pm (UTC)

You mentioned that you made the choice "not to know her anymore". If that's a permanent plan, then there's no reason for you to go. I know you and her, and trust that she undertands that you not being there isn't because you feel negative towards them in any way. However if you're plan was just to get distance while you both changed/healed, and you would like to be friends with them in the future then I think it's perfectly acceptable for you to be there. I've only met him once, but knowing her, they wouldn't have extended the invitation if they wouldn't be pleased to have you there. If it's just gonna make you feel weird, go treat yourself to a nice weekend doing something you'd enjoy.



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