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Apr. 11th, 2005 | 05:28 am
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Ella Fitzgerald - Can't help lovin' dat man

Sooooo...

Divorced two years or so ago. Feeling a lot better, thanks. Made the irrational yet necessary choice not to know her anymore. No hard feelings, but it seems there's always going to be some pain there for me. In particular, she and her fiance are having a baby, and I feel the need to avoid seeing her pregnant.

She's getting married this weekend. It is oddly and selfishly reassuring to me that the lucky boy is someone whom I was fortunate enough to have formally "approved of" way back when. (Yes, "two years ago" is indeed starting to move into the "when I was little" frame of reference. Or as I was gently corrected this weekend, "when I was younger".) So anyway, no issues with the groom.

I wish them the best and I know they'll have a wonderful life. I'm invited to the wedding. They were even sweet enough to make sure it was okay with me that I was invited before inviting me. But I do feel that I don't belong there, even if I'm the only one that feels that's so.


Any reason I should go?

Speak now, or etc. etc.


P.S. - Oh yeah, and I guess all my friends are gonna be there. No, seriously. If I'm not going, I'd better make some other plans. I had originally planned to be away or busy, like, um, sorry, I'll be out of town, I had to wash my hair that month, or something.

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Comments {26}

Kat

(no subject)

from: ellisbell
date: Apr. 11th, 2005 01:33 pm (UTC)
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My ex-fiance got married last October. He and his bride-to-be (whom I had met, liked, and approved of, as you said) sent me an invitation, but I would have never shown up. For one thing, I felt that my presence there was a reminder of something he shouldn't have had to remember on his wedding day. I sent back a card with my regrets (but no explanation as to why I could not attend) and sent a nice gift. i felt very good about my decision - like we were all adults and had been perfectly civil and decent.
For myself personally, as I am about to be married, I am sending him an invitation as well, but mainly because he had sent me one, and because I know he won't attend. My other exes are not invited; not because I don't care about them or we aren't "friends" anymore, but because I don't want to make my future husband uncomfortable and I don't want to stand there and worry someone might impulsively jump up during the "speak now or forever hold your peace" part. I want my wedding day to be as stress-free as possible.

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