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Apr. 11th, 2005 | 05:28 am
mood: melancholymelancholy
music: Ella Fitzgerald - Can't help lovin' dat man

Sooooo...

Divorced two years or so ago. Feeling a lot better, thanks. Made the irrational yet necessary choice not to know her anymore. No hard feelings, but it seems there's always going to be some pain there for me. In particular, she and her fiance are having a baby, and I feel the need to avoid seeing her pregnant.

She's getting married this weekend. It is oddly and selfishly reassuring to me that the lucky boy is someone whom I was fortunate enough to have formally "approved of" way back when. (Yes, "two years ago" is indeed starting to move into the "when I was little" frame of reference. Or as I was gently corrected this weekend, "when I was younger".) So anyway, no issues with the groom.

I wish them the best and I know they'll have a wonderful life. I'm invited to the wedding. They were even sweet enough to make sure it was okay with me that I was invited before inviting me. But I do feel that I don't belong there, even if I'm the only one that feels that's so.


Any reason I should go?

Speak now, or etc. etc.


P.S. - Oh yeah, and I guess all my friends are gonna be there. No, seriously. If I'm not going, I'd better make some other plans. I had originally planned to be away or busy, like, um, sorry, I'll be out of town, I had to wash my hair that month, or something.

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Comments {26}

Mickey Moore

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from: chiaroscuro25
date: Apr. 11th, 2005 01:16 pm (UTC)
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If it's going to be painful to you and such pain serves no purpose (and it sounds like that will be the case), then I wouldn't go. Do whatever is best for you. Simple advice, but very hard just the same.

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from: uujenna
date: Apr. 11th, 2005 02:02 pm (UTC)
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I completely agree with M's sentiment. Be gentle to *you.*

*bigs hugs* Trip.

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from: spumoni
date: Apr. 12th, 2005 02:55 am (UTC)
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I second. If you're in need of any sliver of validation, you have it. You will not be scorned or thought rude or uncouth if you do not attend. They'll understand.
And I have to return the favor of condolences and figurative comforts. Perhaps make some good hot tea that day and know that your friends are thinking of you and that you're well loved.

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