Log in

No account? Create an account

Untitled Poem, 2002-10-19, by Triple Entendre

« previous entry | next entry »
Oct. 13th, 2004 | 05:25 am

I was a kid when playgrounds were still dangerous
forged of cast iron
and flaking paint
warm from the sun
like you

spinning around fast and faster
the world blurs green and brown
and tries to throw you off

no one can get on again
until it stops
until no one pushes
for a while

Link | Leave a comment |

Comments {7}


(no subject)

from: todfox
date: Oct. 13th, 2004 07:53 pm (UTC)

nice work. If you are looking for a title I would go with something simple like "Playground" or name it after the particular toy (merry-go-round?). this both brought back memories and left an emotional impression of it's own.

Reply | Thread

Triple Entendre


from: triple_entendre
date: Oct. 14th, 2004 02:07 am (UTC)

Thank you. Some very intense emotions went into its creation.

I won't do an exegesis, but I'll mention a couple of things that might be of interest:

- It's about a girl.

- It's not very nice.

Which is partly why it has gone untitled—the meaningful titles I considered all either constrained the poem or changed its tone. "Playground" fits perfectly, thanks. I will use that. (I had tried lots of the words that appear in the poem as titles, even "playgrounds", but as a title, the plural has a very different feeling and meaning.)

Reply | Parent | Thread