?

Log in

No account? Create an account

On behalf of all the clueless men in this world

« previous entry | next entry »
Apr. 1st, 2004 | 11:35 am
mood: blankblank
music: Steve Miller Band - Dance, Dance, Dance

And on behalf of all the clueless men in this world, I'd just like to say, here, let me get that. You look tired. How was your day? I saw these and I thought of you so I just had to get them. Wow. Oh really, what did she say? That outfit really brings out your eyes. Happy anniversary. Hmm, that must have been really hard for you. I'm so glad you called. Rawr. Did you cut your hair? I like it.

cross-posted from another thread

Link | Leave a comment | Share

Comments {24}

dragonflier

(no subject)

from: dragonflier
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 10:03 am (UTC)
Link

That's beautiful!

Reply | Thread

Bean

(no subject)

from: fulguritus
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 10:30 am (UTC)
Link

can you make pamphlets?

Reply | Thread

dr. pangloss

(no subject)

from: denshi
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 10:35 am (UTC)
Link

Is that English?

Reply | Thread

renaissance_wmn

(no subject)

from: renaissance_wmn
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
Link

::ROFLing:: Ow! I think I hurt myself.

Reply | Parent | Thread

Mickey Moore

(no subject)

from: chiaroscuro25
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 11:00 am (UTC)
Link

Probably an April Fool's Joke! ;)

Reply | Thread

Triple Entendre

I'm a Frayed Knot

from: triple_entendre
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 12:07 pm (UTC)
Link

Nope. People tend not to understand me anyway, so having a day where no one believes anything is just incredibly frustrating. And practical jokes are just not... practical.

I tend to take things literally, and I'll believe just about anything I'm told for ten seconds.

I'm a fool all year 'round, but not today's sort. If I could stay in bed today, I would.

Reply | Parent | Thread

Mickey Moore

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: chiaroscuro25
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 12:53 pm (UTC)
Link

The winky face [ ;) ] was supposed to convey that I was only kidding. :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Jenmarie

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: jenmarie
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 01:48 pm (UTC)
Link

me too. This has got to be my least favorite "holiday"

I'll pretty much believe anything, especially if it comes from a friend, which makes me a perfect target. :sigh:

Reply | Parent | Thread

stickylatex

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: stickylatex
date: Apr. 3rd, 2004 12:08 pm (UTC)
Link

Does "I'm a Frayed Knot" mean that you know the three-strings-walk-into-a-bar joke?! I love that joke! No one else seems to know it. Even my Dad, who I thought told it to me, insists that I told it to him. And everyone I tell it to hates it and thinks I'm weird.

Reply | Parent | Thread

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: nosugarsadded
date: Apr. 3rd, 2004 10:37 pm (UTC)
Link

I love that joke, too!! :)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Kai

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: kai_
date: Apr. 7th, 2004 09:53 am (UTC)
Link

I don't know that joke, I don't think.

But then, I have no memory for jokes.

Reply | Parent | Thread

stickylatex

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: stickylatex
date: Apr. 7th, 2004 10:36 am (UTC)
Link

In my Introduction to Theatre class, the professor asked on the final exam (for extra credit!): "Tell me your favorite joke." It was then that I learned that, if telling a joke requires some skill, then telling one in writing is even more difficult. I'm not sure I'm up to the challenge at this moment. Anyone else care to try? How about you, nosugarsadded?

Reply | Parent | Thread

Triple Entendre

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: triple_entendre
date: Apr. 8th, 2004 03:29 am (UTC)
Link

Yes!1 Pretty much any time I am called upon to produce some small unit of meaning, as when titling a post or a reply, I'll make it a reference to something unrelated. Kind of like the all the references to inventing things in the movie Rozencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead. Those weren't in the original play, but they add a layer of meaning to the movie without detracting from it. There are secret toy surprises in a lot of the things I write.

-Trip

[1] "Yes!", by which of course I mean "No!", since I don't actually remember how the joke goes.

Reply | Parent | Thread

stickylatex

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: stickylatex
date: Apr. 9th, 2004 04:25 pm (UTC)
Link

Oh, OK! Something like -- three strings walk into a bar and are told to leave, they don't serve strings. Second string says there's another bar down the street, so they go in there. Same thing: "We don't serve your kind in here!" Third string says, "I have an idea." So he messes up his hair, ties himself in a knot, and walks into yet another bar. The bartender says, "Wait. Are you a string?" And the string says, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

Reply | Parent | Thread

Triple Entendre

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: triple_entendre
date: Apr. 9th, 2004 05:33 pm (UTC)
Link

That sounds about right. I also like:

Two guys walk into a bar. The third one ducks.

Reply | Parent | Thread

Kai

Re: I'm a Frayed Knot

from: kai_
date: Apr. 9th, 2004 08:26 pm (UTC)
Link

Heh, but I've always told it like this:

Q: Did you hear about the two nuns that walked into a bar?
A: No.
Punchline: The third one ducked.

On a sillier note:
Q: Did you hear about the two ducks that walked into a bar?
A: No. Did the third one duck?
Punchline: Of course not, silly, the third one QUACKED!

Reply | Parent | Thread

snobscure

(no subject)

from: snobscure
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 11:25 am (UTC)
Link

"Maybe sharing half your DNA doesn't make her 'practically you for sexual purposes', after all."

Reply | Thread

stickylatex

The Cynical View

from: stickylatex
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 11:30 am (UTC)
Link

What this actually sounds like when spoken:

"Our mortgage is due on the first? Where do we keep this? I don't think we even HAVE aluminum foil."

Sorry. Just feeling like picking on guys a little this afternoon. ;-)

Reply | Thread

Triple Entendre

Re: The Cynical View

from: triple_entendre
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 11:56 am (UTC)
Link

Those can go on the other side of the flier. ;-) I'll need more help with that. Got any more?

Reply | Parent | Thread

Courtney

Re: The Cynical View

from: paniolo99
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 12:27 pm (UTC)
Link

I do!

I can't find the mustard.
We're just good friends.
Did you smell that? (proudly) That's really foul!!
The remote is out of batteries. Where did you put the batteries? I still can't find the batteries. Hon, will you change the channel for me?
Will you shave my back for me?
Aren't you smart enough to put the toilet seat down?
I can't go through the checkout line with you - you're buying tampons.

Snark!!

Reply | Parent | Thread

Mark Russell

Re: The Cynical View

from: unatone
date: Apr. 1st, 2004 02:57 pm (UTC)
Link

I never understood what was wrong with this one:

But I'm just going to mess up the sheets again in a few hours.

Reply | Parent | Thread

stickylatex

Re: The Cynical View

from: stickylatex
date: Apr. 2nd, 2004 08:56 am (UTC)
Link

I assume you're not talking about changing sheets, but rather, "making" the bed, as in: arrange pillows, smooth sheets, pull bedspread or duvet or comforter over the whole thing. If so, I wholeheartedly agree! I mean, who is this for? All the hoardes of House Beautiful photographers who come into my bedroom everyday? (Unless, perhaps, one of my cats is sick. Then I can see the wisdom of making the bed.)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Re: The Cynical View

from: spumoni
date: Apr. 2nd, 2004 10:27 am (UTC)
Link

Will you shave my back for me?

HA! If only he'd ask, I'd be happy to bring out the wax strips...
(I'm going to a special place in Hell reserved for girfriends who share too much with strangers)

Reply | Parent | Thread

Kai

Re: The Cynical View

from: kai_
date: Apr. 7th, 2004 09:57 am (UTC)
Link

I'm going to a special place in Hell reserved for girfriends who share too much with strangers

Edit: I'm going to a special place in Hell reserved for people who share too much with strangers.

Add one more to your list:
Honey, I'm sorry I didn't take you to surgery, and then make you drive halfway across the state twice because my car broke down that same day.

Reply | Parent | Thread