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Casualties: 0. Causalities: too many....

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Jun. 27th, 2003 | 11:15 am
mood: surprisedsurprised

Whoa.

Interesting things happen if you forget your boiling eggs on the stove.

After the water is gone, they char for a good while, and then explode violently. I had put four eggs in, and now only two can be located. While I was investigating, I leaned my crutch against the counter, which it then slid along, taking a full glass of water with it. I recovered the crutch and opened some windows. Then, my good foot hit a patch of spilled water and I did a super-ninja-slapstick-style pratfall*, except still holding the crutches, which gave me more flailing options. Flailing helped -- the shifts in momentum gave me time to make three distinct attempts to regain my balance. The third attempt would have involved putting weight on my injured foot, so I changed my goal to protection of that foot, lifting it as I continued to fall so that it was the only part of my body that *didn't* collide ponderously with the floor. It was all bullet-time, like as if Neo were in the Matrix and slipped on a banana peel, but without as many guns.

I am now hiding in my room, slightly damp and covered in little blackened bits of egg.

--
Triple Entendre

* http://m-w.com/cgi-bin/dictionary?pratfall

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