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Jun. 15th, 2003 | 06:43 pm
mood: busybusy
music: Sully - I Have Much to Report

I like distilling these lessons into little witticisms that can fit so neatly into my leaky memory:

In the first three weeks of a relationship, the other will reveal to you every one of the reasons it won't work, all of which you'll promptly forget for the first three months.

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ThomasRhymer

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from: thomasrhymer
date: Jun. 15th, 2003 05:10 pm (UTC)
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Can you elaborate? I think I'm in that 3-month period right now, and I'm going nucking futz. Any insight would be much appreciated.

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Triple Entendre

What is the sound of one lip flapping?

from: triple_entendre
date: Jun. 15th, 2003 05:44 pm (UTC)
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Can you elaborate?

Well, it's almost a koan, so elaborating ends up being similar to restating, which moves us away from the essence of its supposed true meaning.

But having said that:

In practice, I'm just sardonically pointing out an ironic truth -- the specific things that are starting to bug you, right now, are things you were warned about up front. In so many words. Explicitly. By the actual person. (Or, some other, mystical way. But still, there you are. There we all are.)

There's not so much anything one can really *do* about *that*, it's probably a necessary component of human nature. Maybe keeping it in mind will let one hold one to a little bit more wisdom from the start of a new relationship. Maybe not.

My only suggestion is to try gently exploring anything that's too confusing with hints or phrases like "you know, when I do A, what I'm communicating is B and C", "what does that (word/concept/gesture/look) mean to you?", or "I may be confused. What are you feeling right now?", "A penny for your thoughts", etc, etc. Oh, and make at least one mutual friend and be sure you *each* talk to that friend frequently. That's like sunshine at midnight sometimes.

Oh, and I almost forgot -- assume that you have been lying to yourself. Everyone does it.

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from: tequilanolime
date: Jun. 16th, 2003 12:19 pm (UTC)
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In the last three weeks of a relationship, everything you thought was uniquely adorable about that person becomes the very things you begin to hate about them.

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Triple Entendre

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from: triple_entendre
date: Jun. 16th, 2003 09:23 pm (UTC)
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eeyowr! Excellent corollary. I'm usually the uniquely adorable one in that scenario.

Hm, maybe I shouldn't be admitting that publicly.

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